how to write a friendster testimonial

Feel particularly witty. Click "Add a Testimonial." Skim previous entries. Decide you can do better. How to proceed. Wiggle your fingers over the keyboard. Grin with determination . . . plunge in.

"I've known him since..." Fuss over your beginning. Too many nostalgic templates floating around. Decide to avoid that. "When we were kids, Martin climbed a tall acacia and couldn't get down. He hollered 'Mama' till his voice got husky. We laughed at him till his mom came running, blaming us for what happened." There. Concise, a touch of drama, explaining you've known him from way back. Decide that he forgave you for not helping out back then. Wonder how he'll thank you for recounting the old days.

"The only Alcoholics Anonymous member I know with a rap sheet longer than her arm." Synopsis, punched it right where it counts. Smile proud. Continue with best wishes template: "She gets better every two months, sobering up and then plunging down again into the bottle. Her consistency is a thing of beauty." Perfect.

"This gal, mhann, tops the list of coolness kids in school. She is goodtimes personified." This is exactly how you know her, you decide: in a mindless-fun wavelength. Apt would be the surfer-dude template...always useful for people you don't really know, don't care to know better, and don't really intend on offending. It's like a neutral arms' length pat on the back.

"Lovely, full of energy, bouncy, talkative..." Will this do? you ask yourself. It's non-committal, an unimaginative grocery list of adjectives, the first impressions off your mind when you think of this person. Maybe another adjective will do. Decide to be a miser. You hope she'll be flattered and then write you a testi that beats what you did for her. Always works, you remember. People think you are either sincere or pulling their chains. Either way, they remember your effort.

"Terry is the man! He can do overtime like a camel! Nice going on that promotion and the anvil of feather award!" Perfect for a guy who thinks he's important. Keep up the exclamation points and the cheerleader attitude. He'll testi you back with empty praises, that's the only bad side to this. An empty pat on the back deserves another.

"I don't know this guy well..." A lot of bull, you press backspace to erase it. If you don't know the person well, why write a testimonial? You decide to be honest and qualify things: "From the week-long workshop, where I got to know Dexter, he kept biting his nails, kept spitting between long sentences, and stayed too long in the toilet. Nice guy though."

"He jumped back, barely evading the bloodied knife. His opponent pressed on, withdrew the weapon, and lunged at him with a stab aimed at the neck." Hah! Action-packed. Who wouldn't approve of this on his testi page? Even though none of the events happened. You continue with the neat story. "He ducked below the thrust and stabbed upward, piercing the enemy's throat. Someone will choke on his own blood tonight." You decide you should get paid for this. It's publishable escapist testi-writing.

"Superb craftsmanship, astounding character-build up. Gregory packs a wallop on every page." You mimic the back-of-the-book cover write up. It's always funny. People are after all books to be read and reviewed.