how to survive a shark attack, tip #2

Two pieces of reliable info have been gathered on sharks: first, they can smell your intentions; second, they rarely die from dynamite fishing. Once you are in the water, do not thrash about wildly; for they will know that you want to flee. Stay calm. Research has shown that since sharks do not hunt or move about in schools, and because they are migratory, they are rarely blown to death by dynamite fishermen. Therefore, while you are calm underwater and a shark is nearby, having a stick of dynamite is not so useless. Here is what you do. Stay calm, do not trash about wildly. When the shark gets near, hold out your arm toward the creature and display that dynamite. The shark will either recognize the explosive and flee, or will suddenly bite your calm arm.