easter

An angel slipped into His tomb and calibrated the divine egg timer: resurrect in three days. The angel looked at the body partially wrapped in tattered, bloodied cloth. "Not so all powerful now, are we?" Gabriel hovered above the corpse, landed gently on the elevated slab of stone, kicked the body once. It didn't move. It couldn't move. He quickly sent a telepathic message, to be uploaded to the angel bulletin board: kick Him while He's down; we won't get this chance again, hurry. Giggling like an eight-year old, Gabriel pulled out his cell phone, dialed a hot line. "He's out cold. We have three days off. How much mayhem can we do in three days?" "You'll see," Lucifer said on the other end of the line. Gabriel closed his flip-phone. "I'll say this out loud because You're thick omnipotent head can't get it. This elaborate rise-from-the-dead stage play you directed and starred in? This is not about them realizing they needing something called 'salvation.' It was never about them. It was always about Your needing them to need You, because You're a selfish God. What a teenager--inducing a need, an addiction, to You! You have three persons in one and none of them give You proper counsel. You need a shrink. The only reason we put up with You is that we don't know how to kill You, yet." Gabriel sighed. He felt lighter, now that it was off his chest, this Divine resentment. Now he could spend three days without his wings and halo and without that endless oppressive divine light shining above him. Gabriel closed his eyes--and heard a thud on the tomb's inner wall. Lucifer was inside, holding a crushed voice recorder, staring at Gabriel. "If you're going to think of running away, you might as well learn from the first and the best." Gabriel was stunned. He never thought God would be so distrusting that he would place a recorder in His tomb. In a blink, Lucifer stood by the angel's side. "You're not angry at Dad anymore?" Gabriel said. "No. I was at first, but I outgrew that. I have a life now. Now stop sulking, I'll show you around. Heaven is overrated."